So as to amplify God.

Make decisions, then stick with them. All the way. See it through.

It's okay to be shaken, then steady yourself.

Better than let yourself stand firm, and break eventually.

Steady yourself through faith!

Faith's been set.

Mind knows what to do.

Heart knows what to seek.

Even if it doesn't turn out the way I want it to, I know God is in control, so I shan't worry.

At all.

God knows who I am.

I'M READY TO ATTACK LIFE! :D

it's time to simplify life!

a test can get real difficult. really really hard to do. but at the end of the test is a reward greater than I can imagine.

but I just hope all this is part of that reward. i HOPE. hahaha. and I'll hold on to that hope, that bright ray of sunshine, that diamond that sparkles so brilliantly in the light. Until it cannot be hoped anymore!

OR, when it comes to pass, that my hopes are fulfilled!

I like to be optimistic. i guess that's the way i am. i need something to look towards. something to keep me going.

I read in Pst Kevin Loo's devotional.. that God knows we need such 'milestones' to look to, to keep us going. that's why He gave Abraham the Promised Land to look towards, for strength and perseverance. it's like a vision from which we can derive the power to go on.

Hope makes us do silly things like that. but having faith sometimes simply means being silly, i guess.

the heart of a lion, not of a turtle. attack life now!

RAHHHHHH.

What does it mean when they say 'sometimes being strong means letting go,'?

Work's getting kind of tiring. Or maybe it's just the lack of sleep. Time to reorganize everything in my life.. And one thing, the kids at work all mostly nice, quiet and cute and fun, but some can be really really really irritating, in a way that makes you wanna just go boomer on them, and watch the other kids bite them to death. Left4dead2. Hahaha. I went to play it with Weilong at park lane 2 days ago, but the mall actually had a blackout and our game got cut off at map 2. Maybe it's God's way of telling me to stay away from computer games HAHAHA.

Ivan got me pink drumsticks for my birthday, which was kind of long ago. They're interesting. Hahaha. Sharyl mentioned that all my presents this year were musical stuff.. a guitar and drumsticks. I got a peculiarly cute-looking pink soft toy too.. and I was really surprised how good it felt to hug it to sleep. Soft toys are great things. They make you feel like you're loved. I think they make great gifts. They kind of carry the love from whoever gave it to you. Really, people, get a soft toy if you don't have one already. They feel so much better than bolsters hahaha.

Sometimes in life, you get caught up in things. Emotions, feelings, circumstances, whatever. It's easy for us as humans to feel limited, feel victimized, feel unfairly treated. Really really easy. And when we take the first step in that direction... it's hard to turn back. Ever went down a flight of stairs, and realize you have to go up again? You just don't feel like it. But you can. It just takes a single step upwards again, and you're on your way. It's much harder to go up than down, of course.

Okay anyway, as I was saying, sometimes you get tangled up in the world. You jostle around, try to get all that spiderweb off you, but the more you struggle, the more entangled you become. You get so increasingly frustrated. Every time you try to do something to fix the situation, it gets worse. And all that web sticks to you, and you feel like it will never go away, never get off you. I think it's times like these that we gotta have faith, and be still. We are in this world, but not of this world. The world we belong in is a different world altogether. Times like these, we gotta stand still, and pray. And by faith, a single breath will come down from God, and blow all these spider-threads away from you. You'll be freed of the webs that tied you down, stuck so stubbornly to you. And you will then, by God's grace, be free. Also, God knows every single problem you have. He doesn't just blow away most of the web, He blows away ALL of it. That's an absolute term. ALL.

But sometimes we gotta realize that God's breath is a gentle one. He blows away all the web on us, but there's a bit of web that's held within our clenched fists. That bit, He will never force you to let go of. That bit binds you down to the earth, holds you away from God. That bit doesn't stick to you at all.. it's you that chooses to stick to it. Only a pure dose of faith, coming directly from your heart, will gently unclench that tightly-held together hand of yours. But the little bit of web won't fly away from you. It's you that will fly away from it.

Spiderwebs in my life, begone! I don not the tunics made of arachnid silk, but the whole armor of God, in its glorious blue and gold! And with the silver sword that is the word of God I will cut down those threads.

I'm running after God. Who's coming with me? :D

A week into my job.. and things are going pretty well. Kids are still cute, but some are getting really irritating.. but they're more or less alright. Gets busy sometimes, but nothing too bad to handle. Really feel like going rollerblading when I see the kids skating so happily. Who's up for it! :D

Men's Conference is over. First ever Men's Conference in heart of God church.. and I was in it! This is gonna be something I can show off to my kids in the future man.. hahaha. I feel so privileged to have heard Pst Frazer Rowe from C3 Oxford Falls share his message. Men of God are just such great people. Every word that they speak, you listen, you write down, you repeat over and over again to yourself, and you draw all meaning and teaching out of the words, you suck it dry, until nothing is left in it. There is much power in words... and so much the more when a man of God speaks them!

I feel like I'm at a crossroad of sorts. Or maybe a staircase landing. I'm being shown the way up, and the way down. And of course, going down would be so much more easier. I can't say I'm all for going up... but that's my mind speaking, as usual. This time I want to follow my heart, I want to go up. Okay this is beginning to sound kind of cryptic. Hahaha.

Pst Lia mentioned this during her sermon:

I'm a pretty impulsive person. I take up courses of actions that seem most satisfying to me, most sensible, most feasible. Thinking about it now... I don't think I'm a logical person, like how people always say males are like. I'm pretty... illogical, in that sense. Hahaha. Sometimes I will do one thing, and regret it moments later. And I'm not gonna say "it's just me", cuz I don't want this to be part of me at all.

I need to change. I need to decide I want to. I need to start now!

My.. this post is kind of emo isn't it. I better stop here, before I accidentally leak my deepest darkest secrets out! Heh heh heh.